It’s Always Time to Eat

Apparently, eating is necessary to stay alive. But I’m often hungry. Not because I don’t have food in the house. Well, actually, it might be because I don’t have food in the house because I detest grocery shopping. So there’s a good chance I’ve avoided going to the store…


Anyway, I’m often hungry and some of those times, it’s not because my house is devoid of food. Some of those times, it’s because I simply don’t enjoy eating. I don’t like that I need to feed myself multiple times a day just to stay alive. Just when I’ve finally figured out one meal and prepared it and eaten it, it’s time to think about the next meal, and it just takes so much time and effort, it’s a wonder anyone gets anything else accomplished during the day at all.

And it’s so distracting. I’m working on a project, and making very good progress on it, and suddenly, my stomach growls and I realize that it’s ten o’clock at night and the last time I ate was over twelve hours ago. And now I must stop and scrounge around the kitchen looking for food that I don’t need to cook because I’m HUNGRY damnit and I want food now! So two pieces of unsatisfying toast later, I’m back at the project and my stomach continues to growl because obviously, it doesn’t think toast is enough. And it’s right, toast probably isn’t enough, but I’m not going to do anything else about it because: A) there is a good chance no food is in the house, B) I definitely didn’t plan this far in advance, C) I’m busy, D) cooking is just too much effort, and E) there are too many options on those food delivery apps and it’s too hard to pick one.

So I remain hungry. And then I go to bed hungry and wake up hungry, but in the morning, my stomach decides that 2 pieces of toast is, in fact, a satisfactory meal. Weird.

And as I’m munching down the toast while scrolling through my phone, I imagine, if I just had to take a pill, instead, that would give me all my needed nutrients for the day, my life would be so much simpler. Imagine all the time and hassle I could save by not having to think about food, about not having to go to the grocery store or out to restaurants, not needing to cook… I could even get rid of my kitchen and have a whole new room to do things with. I would never need to wash dishes again either! Or have a microwave or a toaster, or any of that nonsense. I would easily give up consuming food again if this was possible. Wake up, take my pill, never worry about my survival again.

And then I’ll wake up for real and realize that I’m starving and my stomach requires more than just toast and I must make the long and impossible trek through the grocery store aisles. But hey, a girl can dream, right?